KEEP THE OLD WARM

“A great man is hard on himself; a small man is hard on others.” – 夫子 Master Kong (Confucius) The Analects

Where do we aim our critique? Do we aim it at others? Or ourselves?

We can find fault with others when it is warranted. But what if it isn’t? What if we critique others unfairly?

Do we feel unconscious pain and take it out on others without control? We all do. We can all be cruel to others and unfair in our critique. Yet, we can change this.

Are we able to recognize when we take out our pain on others, criticize and diminish them, revel in their pain and humiliation? We must. If we do not, how can a friendship, love, or a society function?

A great man or woman aims their pain at themselves. They look in the mirror. They know themselves to be the root cause of most of their mistakes, shortcomings, and failures.

A small man or woman aims their pain at others. The refuse to look in the mirror. They fear the mirror. They are terrified of it. They know themselves to be the root cause of most of their mistakes, shortcomings, and failures, but will not admit it.

A child learns this lesson the hard way or the easy way. The hard way will come after many years of harming others and remaining a child in their behavior. Shame and broken relationships will teach them sooner or later. Or if tragedy befalls them, never.

The easy way comes quicker after they understand they have only themselves to blame and depend upon to improve. They grow. They mature. They accept responsibility and their adulthood. They aim critique at themselves and not others.

Here, with wisdom in their heart, they are no longer small. They are on the road to greatness.

Is it more painful to look in the mirror and accept humility, and not eventual humiliation? Or is it more painful to wield our pride like a cruel weapon, to never cast it down, and call shame and humiliation upon ourselves?

Do we wish to become great, or do we wish to remain small?

Critique ourselves. Not our brothers and sisters.

This is our only road to something great.