KEEP THE OLD WARM

Yesterday I stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. It was a late morning in northern California, cold, crisp air, with the sun approaching its zenith in the sky and warming the land. Fall colors were turning in the neighborhood with all of the trees blazing orange, yellow, red, and all in between.

One tree is pure orange, the brightest within view, and shining in the sun’s rays. I focused in on the tree, smoking easy as I did, and didn’t have my phone or anything else to distract me.

As I settled into a daze, a cold, warm, autumn daze with all quiet about me, smoking my cigarette and looking at this beautiful tree, I thought of the introduction to The Silmarillion – the ancient stories and history of Middle Earth written by J.R.R. Tolkien and published after his death by his son Christopher. Also, my favorite story of all time.

In the beginning of this tale, the one and only being, Eru Illuvatar, sat alone in the timeless halls with nothing else yet in existence. He possesses the flame imperishable, i.e. the secret fire within him, granting him the power to create life. Sitting alone in his thought with the flame imperishable, he gave existence to the Ainur, divine beings and our equivalent of gods. As these gods came into being and stood about Illuvatar as he sat on his throne, they gave rise to The Music of the Ainur, songs sung to the delight of Illuvatar, harmonious, pure, in service of one another in a great theme, and ultimately what would eventually give existence to the universe, time, and all that would be.

Coming back to myself and us in our world, I felt that when we are in harmony with one another and all that surrounds us, the feeling we feel is of this great music with its origins in the flame imperishable. Our being at its core is blazing with the original secret fire, warm, strong, and in truth. This foundation gives rise to great actions that are the music – harmonious actions at peace and in service of the truth.

However, this truth, this peace, does not exist without its opposite.

As the Ainur sing in front of Illuvatar, in service of him, the greatest of the Ainur, Melkor or “He who arises in might” had before gone into the void alone, away from his brethren and sisters and Illuvatar, seeking the flame imperishable for himself to fulfill a desire to create life and things of his own.

Unable to find the flame imperishable, as it resided in Illuvatar himself, Melkor in his malice, interjected thoughts of his own into the music of the Ainur, seeking to create discord, anarchy, and dominate his brethren. It slowly drowned out the other voices of the Ainur, consuming the music, until all others fell silent and Melkor’s voice and thought held dominion in a violent torrent of sound and rage.

When our own being is only in service to our own desires, willing to dominate the music of our brothers and sisters, originating in selfish desire and malice when we are denied what we seek, we are as Melkor was; we seek the flame imperishable for ourselves, lust for it, covet it, yet never find it. Craving yet finding no satisfaction, we retreat into hatred for the music of others, will our own music to dominate others, and shatter the harmony of existence.

Finishing my cigarette on this autumn morning, looking at the blazing trees, I thought to myself how my thoughts, my music, shall serve the flame imperishable, warming the land just as the sun is to this blazing tree. I know the feeling of harmony when honoring the flame imperishable, and can feel the discord when lusting to possess it.

Shall we sing together in service of the flame imperishable, the original source of our life, and create a mighty theme of music with our brother and sisters?

Or shall we sing each our own to possess the flame imperishable for ourselves, fail to, and in our resulting anger and hatred, will to dominate the voices of others?